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Friday 30 December 2011

Women in my life!

The title of this blog should not give any wrong notions about me. I am not a reputed philanderer or a lady-killer. I am a normal human being without abnormal human ambitions. I do not build castles in the air. I am earthly and of the earth. This introduction was necessary before traversing on this tricky track. At the same time I am not a misogynist or a chauvinist. You may conclude that I am a namby-pamby in the mysteries of womanhood. It is however as apparent as daylight that women give us strength, solace and succour. They, so to say, provide us with our survival kit. Having said this let us see what will be the attitude of a male who is steeped in chauvinism or is a philistine. Has he got nothing to do with the  fair species? Apart from the fact that he has been brought out into this world by a woman, a man,  whatever may be his pretentions, is a creature of a  woman. She has a stranglehold on him. He is within the easy pull of a  woman. It may be a moral pull exercised by his mother or sister or daughter or an amorous one exercised by his wife or mistress or girl friend or even a paramour. That much for a man's Independence. It is an oft-repeated saying that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Sometimes I am appalled that a woman is a  repository of all that provides man with strength. We have the example of  Mother Goddess from whom has accrued all the powers of  the divine denizens. Without her benign grace things will go pell mell. Cosmic order will disintegrate leading to chaos and catastrophe. The very foundation of the cosmos will be shaken as if struck by a thunder bolt of mammoth proportion.
Many women have made an irreversible impact on my life. Foremost of them is my mother followed by my wife, mother-in-law, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister and grand daughters,etc. Several others have also contributed to my persona but the list will be unending.
  • Mother  -  Ha mother, my mother, I crave for your hug. My mother was a gift from God. Divinity was oozing from her being. It is said  that she was born after a lot of prayers and worship. A divine aura surrounded her personality.Destiny however robbed her of her beloved mate at a very young age.Saddled with half a dozen little mouths to be fed and taken care of she sallied forth into an uncertain and bewildering world  with only her unbeatable courage and confidence.Single handed this brave lady brought us all up and set us forth in the ocean of life equipped with reasonable education and grit. Adversity did not dim her wit and humour. Throughout, her personality  emitted an infectious demeanour of pleasant and pulsating  life. Whatever I am today is due to her unwavering stewardship.
  •  Mother-in-law  -    She was a virtuous lady of indescribable grace. She possessed a rare ethereal charm. Nobility was her hallmark.The very moment I was introduced to her I was carried away by her grace.My mother-in-law was a woman of God.She was a practising Ram Bhakt.She was also an adept in Sikh tenets.Chanting from Shree Guru Granth Sahib was a favourite devotional practice  nurtured by her.Even I was infected  by her ardent devotion and became an admirer of Shree Guru Nanak Dev.It was at this time that  a colleague of mine, a Sikh gentleman,enabled me to have darshan at various holy Gurudwaras of Delhi  including Rakabganj, Sisganj and Bangla sahib. I am beholden to my mother-in-law for various blessings of life.
  • Wife :   A  wife is a wife all her life. A Punjabi siren  with sinuous grace cuckooed her way into my heart. There was hardly any park or restaurant which this smitten duo had not graced.Right from the beginning it was evident that my cuckoo was and continues to be the dominant partner. Right from seducing and leading me upto the altar, it was her show all the way. Like Mary's little lamb I would follow her meekly. There was an incident  when her authoritarian streaks came to the fore. During the hey days of our courtship or was it that time when our mutual adulation was still nascent(my memory is not helping me here), we came in conflict with the uniformed law. We were sitting in  a park oblivious of our surroundings when something hard poked me. To my astonishment  and consternation I found  the law enforcing agency, in flesh and blood staring at us.He demanded why we were there and what was our purpose of cohorting in a secluded park. Out of my wits for a few moments, a pathetic  look from my  beloved rekindled  my chivalry and  in the tradition of a knight gallant I faced the calamity fairly and squarely. I explained that it was stifling at home and we had ome to the park for a whiff of fresh air.  It did not seem to convince the law enforcing agency. Fearing that my incoherent and broken Hindi would give away the game, the gallant lady took over and fielded further questions. Suffice to say that the danger retreated and we continued with our confabulation. It is often said that women with overbearing traits in their character have the last word in any argument with their mates. It is not true in my case as I generally have the last word. These lethal words are 'I agree'. My woman treats me softly as if I require great nourishing with affection. It will be imprudent if not impudent to question her decisions. If I make any impulsive adventure in this regard it will be met with a look of disdain if not contempt. We completed our golden jubilee two years ago and neither age nor custom has withered away our ardour for each other. Our blissful state continues. Thanks to God Almighty.  
  •  Daughter - A daughter was born to us after lot of prayers. After a son, we thought that in the fitness of things and to complete our planned family the presence of a little angel was required. God blessed us with a nice little doll who herself is now a mother and in due course will become a mother-in-law. She is always calm, cool and collected and her very presence acts as a balm. I am a restless character, my daughter has shown me the virtues of balanced behaviour and good cheer. She is a doctor by profession. She takes good care of our physical, physiological, psychological and emotional health. About physical needs she no doubt attends to my ever lengthening ailments but with her culinary expertise she titillates my tastebuds. I look forward to visits to her house. In all her ventures she is ably assisted by her well renowned doctor husband. In her marital home she has worn the mantle of an able and efficient housewife. She has won the hearts of all members of her husband's family and often acts as  the torch-bearer of their welfare. To the amusement of her grown up children I still call her Gudiya meaning 'doll'. She is deeply religious and does not miss any opportunity to visit Shirdi.  
  • Daughter-in-law -  My daughter-in-law entered our household at a very appropriate time. I and my wife had put in a lot of service  and were on the threshold of superannuation. She landed at this juncture in our house as a saviour. She was no stranger to us her father being my childhood friend. She is the only daughter of her parents, and has two brothers. Her parents and brothers doted on her. She grew up as a strong willed girl ready to face any challenges. She is very strong at the very core of her being. I and she both come under the same zodiac sign. This sometimes resulted in titanic clashes of our will but without any damage. This is a thing of the past and I won't attempt to confront her as she can easily worst me in any argument. There were some hiccups in the initial days of her marriage as her parents were staying away in Bangalore and her husband's family based in Delhi. But it goes to her credit that in no time she got well adjusted and became a full blown Delhi girl. Her personality opened up slowly but surely layer by layer. She is a very affectionate person fully devoted not only to her husband and children, which is natural, but also to her aged father-in-law and mother-in-law which is rare these days. I was the recipient of her kindness at the very onset of her marriage. I had undergone a surgery and she nursed me back to health with devotion. She continues to be solicitous about our heath and well being. She is equally devoted to her mother and brothers and takes good care of them. In her official career also, she has displayed rare brilliance matched only by her sincerity. She is a model daughter-in-law who exemplifies in her personality all the characteristics of a noble person. 

  • Sister  - I and my four brothers together have a sister. She is elder to me by two years. Being the only sister, the brothers have throughout showered her with a lot of affection. I am very attached to her. Right from my toddler-hood she took me under her protective wings. Even now if at any time I face any uncomfortable situation, I turn to her for solace and she does not disappoint me. A hearty chat with her either over telephone or through Skype restores my tranquillity. She has impacted my personality with her ever affable and affectionate nature.

  •  Grandaughters - While delineating the characters of the ladies mentioned above, I cannot sidetrack my grandaughters. These little ladies smother me with their innocent affection and unmatched love. Everybody in the family and even in friends circles pamper them, but this adulation and approbation have not spoilt them. They take it in their stride and thoroughly enjoy it. In keeping with the trend of modern times, they have grown up as self willed and confident persons. The are also very concerned with the welfare of their grandparents and inspite of their whirlwind schedules, spend valuable time with them. We watch with great interest their progression in life. God bless them.
  • Nieces  - I am also blessed with the love and affection of my nieces. As young ones, I have cradled them and now they are grandmothers. While efficiently handling their family affairs, they have not forgotten me and I am the recipient of their continuous affection and solicitude.
                                                                                                                            

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    Sunday 11 December 2011

    Minding the mindless mind

    There is a plethora of literature on the mind which has not enlightened much.You may ask what is  the need for further dissertation on this topic. A legitimate question may also arise whether it is to confuse the confusion or otherwise.In any case an addition to this literature will not in any way make a dent on its reputation as being the  most intractable thing. I have  often been  intrigued by the intricacies of the mind- the most lauded and at the same time the most despised of human organs.It can work miracles and also wreak havoc.It can take us to heights and also dump us in abysmal depths. It is divine and also  profane.It is a sinner and is also sinned against.
    No sanguine mind will try to define the mind itself for it is beyond definition. If I may venture a definition, I may say that like the all pervading God it is also immanent but unseen.
    It is said that self- conquest is the best conquest.What is this self?
    To my untutored mind it is another version of the mind for you can reach the self only through this all powerful but deceitful instrument.Saints and sages may not vote for my theory but I maintain that this the only route.
    We have often  been advised to keep an open mind.Our scriptures 
    have a hymn saying that  let  noble thoughts come to us from every 
    side.To receive noble thoughts, no  doubt, we require an open mind.
    But what is the  guarantee that only noble thoughts  would enter it.
    Have you ever tried to battle with your mind? If not try it. Your wit and wisdom  arrayed on one side and the mind on the other.Initially you may think that your wit and wisdom are more than a match to the mind. But  soon you will realise, to your consternation, that from the word 'go' you are  the  loser. All your strategies and stratagems will come to a nought and you will be simply worsted.
    We make a resolution that we  will not allow  the mind to enslave  
    us; rather we will conquer it.We will sit in meditation. Lo and behold unsavoury thoughts which do not normally  visit us cross our mind and assail us.See again the confusion caused by some of the votaries of meditation. One school of thought asks us to just watch our thoughts and not react.Another school of thought contradicts it and says  that you should counter all unholy thoughts with holy thoughts. An uninitiated practitioner is just left high and dry and perhaps more confused.
     In my wanderings in the woods of thoughts I have gathered lot of 'moss'.( I have borrowed  this usage from the much repeated saying that a rolling  stone gathers no moss.) I have simply applied this doctrine in the reverse gear. But this moss has only deepened my confusion more or less like a confused cockroach.  What is then the mind.? Some say that it is the ability to reason  and think and comprehend. Again some say that it is intellect, etc. Can we treat it as a definition of the mind. What is said seems to be only plausible and not necessarily possible. Our spiritual lore says  that mind and intellect are different and not synonymous. I have mellowed with age but my grey cells have not yet been able to comprehend what is mind. It is famously said that the mind can be compared to an inebriated monkey bitten by a bee. It is not difficult to imagine what will be the state of a person with such a mind. Again this does not say what is mind.
     Mind revels in our predicament, helplessness. Mind makes short-shrift of our moves. Mind eludes and more often deludes us. Even  then see the paradox. Only the mind alone can lift itself
    from the morass in which it is enmeshed. Mind is the best of friends  and worst of enemies. We should not antagonise it if we want any favour from it. It then requires to be courted, cajoled, coerced  and befriended. How to achieve this goal. Our legendary hero of the  Mahabharata fame Arjuna is a classic case of  confusion and delusion.It required all the ingenuity and a lengthy haranguing on the part of the Supreme Lord  to pull him out of his unhealthy delusion and depression and dispel all his doubts and reservations. The Lord  could not accomplish it with any ease for Arjuna had some lingering doubts. He said that the mind is unsteady, turbulent, tenacious and powerful and it is difficult to control it. The Lord agrees that the mind is restless and difficult to be curbed but all the same it can be brought under control by constant and  regular practice and by the exercise of dispassion. Consistency, regularity and eternal vigil are, therefore, the mantra to yoke the turbulent  mind. 
    Shall we practice it?  Any takers?




     





    Tuesday 6 December 2011

    BIRTH OF MENON-E-AZAM -20 OCTOBER 1960

    While rummaging through a labyrinth of papers to locate a document, my eyes fell  on an old forgotten manuscript which, on scrutiny, turned out to be a first time father's excited outpourings on the arrival of his offspring.This treatise was penned by me in October 1960 in honour of my son.I have given the characters  figuring in this paper a touch of royalty. After all, to employ a cliche, if wishes were horses, we can ride the clouds.Even though it is wishful thinking,I have given  a free run to my imagination.It is said that writers can take some liberties. The events mentioned in the following narrative are, however, to the best of my knowledge,true.

    Dramatis personae:
     1.Rani of Patel Nagar-My charming wife.
    2.Queen mother---- My mother-in-law
    3.Imperial majesty-My Father-in-law
    4.Prince A.D.C-My Brother-in-law
    5.Royal Mausis-My wife's sisters
    6.Royal Mamajis-My wife's brothers.
    7.His Heaviness-Myself-(in view of my bulk)
    8.Imperial Prince-My Son


    Wednesday,October 19,1960,was to have been like any other day.But the Government's decision to celebrate Diwali on that day instead of on the succeeding day made it an auspicious day.It must be an auspicious day,otherwise,priests and pundits would not have not been able to prevail upon the authorities who matter to change an entry in the printed government calender.Amidst the noise and blasts of fire crackers and other Diwali accompaniments in which children and those who are still children in their mental make-up indulge,the more sober of the populous woke up to be greeted by an angry son.Diwali came but the sun was still scorching as if it were to announce that Diwali was still far of.Her Majesty,the Rani of Patel Nagar was staying with the Queen mother of Kotla Road to make preparations to welcome the imperial prince whose arrival was expected to take place a month hence.All calculations were,however,proved wrong as will be revealed in the subsequent lines.It was the day for Patel Nagar Rani to visit Lady Hardinge Hospital  for a detailed check-up.At 9 am ,His Heaviness(Patel Nagar Rani's Husband)was in the hospital to welcome the Rani and the royal retinue.They arrived.Without loss of time all solemnly entered the hospital.But as ill-luck would have it we were informed that we would have to wait till 12 pm or so.But Providence was in our favour.It is proverbial that women have longer tongues.They will talk in and out of season.They will talk relevant and irrelevant things ,the latter always predominating.(my wife vehemently protested but I have assured her that I have great respect for all women)They have their own irrational fears and prejudices when they are carrying babies.The main topic of the ladies who were on a similar errand as that of the Rani of Patel Nagar,herein after called the Heroine,was displacement.There was heated discussions among the ladies.I was however totally confused.Some narrated some strange stories of the doctors' behaviour etc.Pessimism reigned supreme.Timid of the lot occupied hind most seats thus nourishing a false hope that they would be able to escape the doctor's ominous hands. Taking this as opportune moment our heroine though she was also obsessed with the fears mentioned above,made a bold entry into the sanctum sanctorum,the labour room.What a courage!What a dynamism!After ten minutes ordeal she came out putting on a brave smile though her general features betrayed suffering.The time was 10.45 am.The heroine accompanied by His Heaviness returned to Patel Nagar.The place was full of Diwali sweets.At about 2 o'clock the heroine started complaining pains.Stomach pain on Diwali day is understandable.Even a person with moderate eating habits is likely to get it on that day.So reasonably enough I dubbed it as due to the over satisfaction of her palatal region.To be frank, it was dismissed as false pain.It is a widely known fact that  the heroine's faculty of pain is a bit super sensitive and her too common complaints are generally received with a complacent indulgence.She had some sort of pains a week before also and much fuss was made about it but later on it proved to be a false alarm.Knowing the background fully well these pains were also assigned to that category.At 6.30 pm,the heroine performed the Diwali puja and accompanied by His Heaviness left for the Imperial Headquarters in a taxi.At 7 pm,His royal highness Prince A.D.C inaugurated the fireworks.Atom bombs,hydrogen bombs,dynamite and what not made excursions to the heavens.
    The heroine let out a scream.Bring this ,bring that,pack this,pack that,do this,do that,etc-all instructing and no one to follow.There was a regular pandemonium.The heroine was all tears.Heroine accompanied by Queen mother,Imperial father etc ,all got into the car and sped away to the Lady Hardinge Hospital.The party reached the hospital at 7.45 pm.After some routine enquiries ,the party was allowed inside.The heroine entered the labour room.Queen mother and Heaviness anxiously waited outside to hear the outcome even though His Heaviness still maintained that this was a recurrence of the event of the preceding week.But his protests were ignored.Occasional screaming of the heroine showed that she was wide awake.The clock struck 12.Another voice issued forth from the sanctum sanctorum.Whose could it be?Subsequent enquiries revealed that Imperial Prince has at last arrived.Well and good.There was excitement and more excitement.Queen mother Naniji ran to the telephone booth to convey the happy tidings to his Imperial Majesty,Nanaji and Royal mausis and mamajis who were all wide awake awaiting the news.I was happy beyond words and feelings that my son and successor has arrived. 


    An appeal-Bouquets -yes.
                      Brickbats- No Please