BIRTH OF MENON-E-AZAM -20 OCTOBER 1960

While rummaging through a labyrinth of papers to locate a document, my eyes fell  on an old forgotten manuscript which, on scrutiny, turned out to be a first time father's excited outpourings on the arrival of his offspring.This treatise was penned by me in October 1960 in honour of my son.I have given the characters  figuring in this paper a touch of royalty. After all, to employ a cliche, if wishes were horses, we can ride the clouds.Even though it is wishful thinking,I have given  a free run to my imagination.It is said that writers can take some liberties. The events mentioned in the following narrative are, however, to the best of my knowledge,true.

Dramatis personae:
 1.Rani of Patel Nagar-My charming wife.
2.Queen mother---- My mother-in-law
3.Imperial majesty-My Father-in-law
4.Prince A.D.C-My Brother-in-law
5.Royal Mausis-My wife's sisters
6.Royal Mamajis-My wife's brothers.
7.His Heaviness-Myself-(in view of my bulk)
8.Imperial Prince-My Son


Wednesday,October 19,1960,was to have been like any other day.But the Government's decision to celebrate Diwali on that day instead of on the succeeding day made it an auspicious day.It must be an auspicious day,otherwise,priests and pundits would not have not been able to prevail upon the authorities who matter to change an entry in the printed government calender.Amidst the noise and blasts of fire crackers and other Diwali accompaniments in which children and those who are still children in their mental make-up indulge,the more sober of the populous woke up to be greeted by an angry son.Diwali came but the sun was still scorching as if it were to announce that Diwali was still far of.Her Majesty,the Rani of Patel Nagar was staying with the Queen mother of Kotla Road to make preparations to welcome the imperial prince whose arrival was expected to take place a month hence.All calculations were,however,proved wrong as will be revealed in the subsequent lines.It was the day for Patel Nagar Rani to visit Lady Hardinge Hospital  for a detailed check-up.At 9 am ,His Heaviness(Patel Nagar Rani's Husband)was in the hospital to welcome the Rani and the royal retinue.They arrived.Without loss of time all solemnly entered the hospital.But as ill-luck would have it we were informed that we would have to wait till 12 pm or so.But Providence was in our favour.It is proverbial that women have longer tongues.They will talk in and out of season.They will talk relevant and irrelevant things ,the latter always predominating.(my wife vehemently protested but I have assured her that I have great respect for all women)They have their own irrational fears and prejudices when they are carrying babies.The main topic of the ladies who were on a similar errand as that of the Rani of Patel Nagar,herein after called the Heroine,was displacement.There was heated discussions among the ladies.I was however totally confused.Some narrated some strange stories of the doctors' behaviour etc.Pessimism reigned supreme.Timid of the lot occupied hind most seats thus nourishing a false hope that they would be able to escape the doctor's ominous hands. Taking this as opportune moment our heroine though she was also obsessed with the fears mentioned above,made a bold entry into the sanctum sanctorum,the labour room.What a courage!What a dynamism!After ten minutes ordeal she came out putting on a brave smile though her general features betrayed suffering.The time was 10.45 am.The heroine accompanied by His Heaviness returned to Patel Nagar.The place was full of Diwali sweets.At about 2 o'clock the heroine started complaining pains.Stomach pain on Diwali day is understandable.Even a person with moderate eating habits is likely to get it on that day.So reasonably enough I dubbed it as due to the over satisfaction of her palatal region.To be frank, it was dismissed as false pain.It is a widely known fact that  the heroine's faculty of pain is a bit super sensitive and her too common complaints are generally received with a complacent indulgence.She had some sort of pains a week before also and much fuss was made about it but later on it proved to be a false alarm.Knowing the background fully well these pains were also assigned to that category.At 6.30 pm,the heroine performed the Diwali puja and accompanied by His Heaviness left for the Imperial Headquarters in a taxi.At 7 pm,His royal highness Prince A.D.C inaugurated the fireworks.Atom bombs,hydrogen bombs,dynamite and what not made excursions to the heavens.
The heroine let out a scream.Bring this ,bring that,pack this,pack that,do this,do that,etc-all instructing and no one to follow.There was a regular pandemonium.The heroine was all tears.Heroine accompanied by Queen mother,Imperial father etc ,all got into the car and sped away to the Lady Hardinge Hospital.The party reached the hospital at 7.45 pm.After some routine enquiries ,the party was allowed inside.The heroine entered the labour room.Queen mother and Heaviness anxiously waited outside to hear the outcome even though His Heaviness still maintained that this was a recurrence of the event of the preceding week.But his protests were ignored.Occasional screaming of the heroine showed that she was wide awake.The clock struck 12.Another voice issued forth from the sanctum sanctorum.Whose could it be?Subsequent enquiries revealed that Imperial Prince has at last arrived.Well and good.There was excitement and more excitement.Queen mother Naniji ran to the telephone booth to convey the happy tidings to his Imperial Majesty,Nanaji and Royal mausis and mamajis who were all wide awake awaiting the news.I was happy beyond words and feelings that my son and successor has arrived. 


An appeal-Bouquets -yes.
                  Brickbats- No Please